While continuing to train I found a hunger for more than just learning techniques or the desire to excell. There seemed to be something lacking that the real masters knew but only revealed itself to those who found the "key". This was my thurst but without ego as my controller.
Once again I went to books as a resource. Zen and meditation seemed to needle me. Even though many of the pages of information were not sinking in, some was and I began to bring sitting meditation into my routines. I even found the odd judo student of like mind so we dabbled as best we could to bring softness into our judo as we worked out. Our Sensei Martel encouaged us as we moved in this direction.
With some sucess I was asked to compete in tournaments which I did. Although successful I quickly found the attitudes accompanied distastful yet did my best to support both our dojo and judo in general. I will simply add at this point that the competitive sport approach ended with one of the more serious challenges to my love of Judo. In 1964 Judo went into the Olympics and the few years before there was extremely poor judgement by those in the leadership posiitions. The bottom line was Judo as a martial art was all but pressured into the past and continues to remain there. I suspect I am one of the few remaining hold outs with the martial approach to this fantastic martial art but I am not long for this world either. "
The lesson here was the Ego out of control by those I looked up to. These "masters" were so focused on one approach to using Judo as a sport at world levels that they actually attacked the clubs that were not interested. This was my first lesson at being idealistic and expecting those looked up to, to have their ego under control. It was very apparent that they had no interest in humble, respect of all others. Experiencing this politics and behaviour almost resulted in my dropping out of martial arts all together. But instead my Sensei, who was one of those pressured to comply, encouraged me to go on, grow as a person and martial artist keeping my eye on finding and living the "way" of a true martial artist no matter what the odds and our Dragon would continue to represent what is real and truthful and of value in connection with martial art training. Several decades later Hiryu Bushido Kai stands again for the value of traditional values of real martial arts training.
Unfortunately I had to move on to other martial arts to continue to grow and bring my students along the same path. Next post will take us further along my "path" and the resulting exciting discoveries